Sufficiency and Satisfaction

I don't get it-why life throws us the blows it does. When is it God causing, and when is it God allowing?
What does our response need to be in regards to conditions of life that seem unfair, exhausting, and unsurpassable?
How can we not only be ok with our life the way it is (yet not the way we dreamed it would be), but also be satisfied?
These questions I ask, because it seems as if the direction the wind is blowing in my life is contrary to that which I wish it to be.

Many times, I come to God in times of heartache, and my heart aches so badly that I can't seem to pour it out to God. This is when I know the Spirit does it for me. However, there is a longing in my soul, desiring to still express myself completely, to still respond to my situation with the grace that God has so generously lavished upon me. It seems God has wired me in such a way that when I can express myself no other way, everything comes together and makes sense through song. I find music to be a wonderful gift- a means to my satisfaction in God. It is there I find Him. I find His peace, His solace, His love, His gentleness, and His presence. It is through music He speaks to me, and I back to Him.
The message is often simple to ears that don't hear my heart. But to me-to God- it is profound. It is the outpouring of all the scrambles of my heart that don't seem to make sense to even me. But when they come out of my mouth, and onto paper, it all makes sense. It's so simple.
Trust.
That's the answer.
The answer to satisfaction...and sufficiency.
Sufficiency for my satisfaction and happiness is found in trust.

Here are some words that described my deepest utterances today:
"I will trust in You, even if I never understand.
I will trust in You, when life just doesn't go as planned.

I will soar on Wings as eagles.
I will soar on Wings as eagles.
I will soar on Wings as eagles.
With You. With You.

I will choose; yes, I will choose, to trust in You.
I'm satisfied in You. Only You."

So simple, yet embodies the cry of my heart. And testifies to that work which Christ does in my heart through the bitterness and pain of which He molds into reliance and satisfaction.
How can we find satisfaction in Christ through the midst of pain?
Trust.

"His grace still amazes me. His love is still a mystery;
Each day, I fall on my knees. 'cause Your grace still amazes me."
-Shawn Craig and Connie Harrington