The music of my soul...: My grandma has seen heaven...
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30 May 2006

My grandma has seen heaven...

This is not an easy post; I've been fighting myself on mentioning anything, lest I force myself to face reality. However, I have decided that to keep my grief bottled up would not do me a lot of good except keep me from being vulnerable to it.
My grandma is dying. Many of you who know me well have at least met my Grandma. She is a saintly little lady who has loved the Lord for almost 80 years. Grandma is very special to me. I have so many fond memories of her, but the thing I take most from these 24 years with my Grandma is her model of what it means to be a woman who loves the Lord with all her heart, soul, and mind- and demonstrates it through her love for her family. I've always known my grandma for her laughter and sense of humor. She was a great cook, and was full of life. She was a spunky little lady! (And I mean "little" = measuring in at 4'11'' in her prime!)
Now my grandma lies in a hospital bed in Kingston, ON, where she has been for a couple months, and the doctors tell her she will never go home (to her earthly home, that is).
The thing is, I can hardly stand to think about life without my Grandma. I wish I hadn't gotten so mad at her when I was 4 and she threatened me with spankings. I wish I had spent more time with her. I wish my children could know her.
But most of all, I wish I was going with her.
This week, my grandma saw heaven.
She saw heaven and said it was beautiful. She said she saw Jesus, and He told her it was her choice- He could bring her home to be with Him, or He would let her stay a little while longer with her family. She said, "You know I love you alot, Lord, but I'd like a little more time with my family." And she woke up. My Grandpa told her that if she gets another offer like that, she shouldn't refuse it!
I tell you this because I hope it blesses you like it did me. I absolutely cannot wait to leave this earth and go to be with my Savior! But I know that I still have work to do for Him. I only pray that I will be faithful to do that which He has created me and called me to do on this earth- just as my Grandma has been so faithful. She deserves this reward.

9 comments:

Lor & Josh said...

Angela, that was a beautiful post. I'm so sorry this is such a difficult time for you all. It is so hard to lose loved ones, but your post greatly shows your and your grandmom's joy in the Lord. When you said "Most of all I wish I was going with her" it really touched me. God has given you a heart like Paul's, longing to be with the Lord but knowing His plan is still for you to be here. What a wonderful day it will be when we meet Jesus face to face and stay there forever! I pray His peace so showers you and your family during this time, and that His presence and your Grandmom's walk with the Lord continue to bring you hope and blessing. Words just don't suffice in times like these, but my spirit is bringing yours to the Lord today.

Unknown said...

made my cry reading of how you love your grandma and how she has impacted your life. What a special relationship you have. Thanks for sharing it, and know I will be praying for her, you, and your family in the days to come.

Angela said...

Thank you so much for your encouragement today, ladies. It really did lift my spirit. I will be flying out to Kingston, ON the end of this week as she is not expected to make it through the night. I'll try to keep up with my blog though.
Thank you again SO much for your prayers! All of this just reaffirms to me how alive, how loving, how kind and gentle our Lord is.

Travis said...

Thanks so much for sharing that about Grandma, Angela. I hadn't heard of her dream about Heaven, and I'm glad you told it. It is easier knowing she's going to a better place, but we'll all miss her.

Travis

Sarah said...

Hey Angela,

I was touched by your post and encouraged by your grandmother's dream. What a legacy that your grandmother is leaving behind - and it's one that you'll have the privilege of carrying out in her memory.

You'll all be in my prayers as you set to embark on the changes ahead...

Heather Durkee said...

Hey Ang,

My grandma is dying as well and Adam lost his in Feb. My grandmas have been some of my best friends. When I was growning up my Gma Simpson was actually our babysitter so we were tight.

It must be hard as you are far away. I am glad you are getting a chance to go. But know you and your gma are in prayers.

Angela said...

Thanks again, guys & gals. She pulled through last night, but they've taken her off ALL medicine, IV's and anything extra (including even her insulin)...so it won't be long. God is so good, and my instructors for these intensive classes I'm taking are being incredibly considerate! It's such a weight lifted to know that it will not be too complicated for me to go to be with family during this time as soon as we receive word.
Heather, I'm sorry about both you and Adam's gma. Are you going to get to spend any time with yours before she passes away?

Angela said...

FYI- I'm flying out with my mom tonight on the red-eye flight. I'll be at Brandon's so will have computer access and will post if I have time. I'm not sure what it's going to be like.

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