today's revelation
i just finished a really good book. Ok, so it was a romance. But it was a "Christian" romance! No really-actually the Lord really used it to encourage me. The premise of her story was that it is normal for women to have presuppositions going into marriage. Women think they are going to live with daisies and roses for the rest of their life. We will agree on everything, have the same values and thoughts, want to do the same things, etc. Sorely, this reality is crushed after a considerable amount of the honeymoon wears off. Lately, I have been struggling with this, asking questions I never dreamed I would ask, of myself, of my husband, and of our marriage!
The Lord knew this was the book for me today. I have been dwelling too much on disappointments. She encouraged the readers to look at and appreciate the wonderful relationship that God has given, and to just bask in the many good and positive aspects of our marriages. Allow God to fulfill the needs that we look to be filled by our husbands. God wants to fill these needs. It is ok if our husbands want to enjoy living life instead of talking about it and analyzing it. It is ok if they want to just do instead of think. It's ok if they want to watch tv instead of going on that nice romantic walk that you had been hoping for. I know my husband gives to me all the time. Maybe I need to stop focusing on what's missing, and start treasuring what I have!
2 comments:
Hey Ang! I think that this is a really good point to bring up. We never know what to expect when we enter marriage but many of us have these unrealistic dreams. Adam & I have learned to take a much more relaxed but purposeful approach. There are so many couples that are gag me romantic and really focused on themselves. I think if we become more relaxed at life that we can have a better marriage. Realizing that our marriage might not always be textbook lets us define what our marriage will be. It can still be fervent, healthy, passionate and great, but it might not necessarily mean that I am super happy all the time or always get what I want. Being more relaxed helps you to not need to fix unimportant things right away or to always expect things from your spouse. When you can get to the point where you realize that your spouse might not always do the right thing or read your mind about what your needs are, I think there is a freedom that comes. They still love you just as much and are still committed to you, but when we have expectations that aren't easy to meet, we just have to realize that our spouse isn't perfect. We love them anyway because we have fallen in love with them and vowed to do so. I think I focused way to much on trying to make everything amazing that I didn't know how to just live life and let things be. I think Adam is much happier with me now then when I was trying to create this textbook marriage. Each of our relationships can look different and still be healthy also.
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